XIII

 

Oraindik ez nekin nere bizimodua aldatuta zegoela,

Osoro ez-antzekoa— maitasun onengatik aldendua

Betirako nere jaioterritik;

Orain zorigaitzeko talde orretakoa nintzan,

Zaarra galdu ta berria ezin irabazi duena,

Alaz ere, maitale ta leial

Bere lokune berriari. Ez beinere izango

Emakume ingelesa, nere barruan zerbait ba’zegon

Zorrotz, buru-gogor, ezin itz bateko izan

Ingeles arauekin, egia ez ikusi arren,

Ongi edo gaizki, erri aunditzat artzen nuela,

Eta oraindik ori uste det.

 

Egun batean beartu ninduten izatera

Gogoan artzera, lekua ikusi bear zan,

Devon’en, sendiaren lekua— ta John’en ama.

“Noski, ulertzen dezu”, esan zidan, “nere anaiak

Landa jabetuko duela” Irripar egin; ain ziur zegoen

Oiñordekoakin munduak irabazten zuela.

Alaz ere leku ura maite zun, ingelesak

Jaioterria maite duten bezela ta

Eguna irixtean, dudarik gabe ori gertatzean,

Etxe au berea izango ez zanean— bere anaiaren

Emazteak nai zunean— iadanik berea ez zan gelara—biziak

Gutitu ta bere zentzua galdu. Ori bai bide-gabekoa,

Pentsatu nuen. Nola onartu dezakete, seme nagusi

Alper eta ausartiak lortzea?

Beraz, azkenerako iñorentzat ez zan izan.

 

 

 

XIII

And still i did not see my life was changed / Utterly different—by this love estranged / For ever and ever from my native land; / That I was now of that unhappy band / Who lose the old, and cannot gain the new / However loving and however true / To their new duties. I could never be / An English woman, there was that in me / Puritan, stubborn that would not agree / The English standards, though I did not see / The truth, because I thought them, good or ill, / So great a people and I think so still. // But a day came when I was forced to face / Facts. I was taken down to see the place, / The family place in Devon—and John’s mother. / ‘Of course, you understand,’ he said, ‘my brother / Will have the place.’ He smiled; he was so sure / The world was better for primogeniture. / And yet he loved that place, as Englishmen / Do love their native countryside, and when / The day should be as it was sure to be— / When this was home no more to him—when he / Could go there only when his brother’s wife / Should ask him—to a room not his—his life / Would shrink and lose its meaning. How unjust, / I thought. Why do they feel it must / Go to that idle, insolent eldest son? / Well, in the end it went to neither one.